Cheatsgiving: 10 Ways To Survive Thanksgiving With A Toddler

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As the mother of two “big kids”, I have already dealt with several years’ worth of holidays with babies and toddlers. My kids are less than two years apart so as the older one passed through one shitty behavioral phase, the younger one was right on her heels starting in. I tried so many strategies over the years in an attempt to mitigate the awfulness- bringing coloring books and crayons, fun movies, their favorite toys or comfort object, etc. Nothing ever really worked. The fact is, toddlers enjoy routine and are total creatures of habit. Even going to my parents house, which is a relatively familiar place for them, would throw them off. Couple that with rich foods and lack of a quality nap and by 2pm, our lives were in turmoil. I am here to tell you the only ways to survive Thanksgiving (or any holiday) with a toddler. Go grab a notepad- you are going to want to pay attention:

 1. Sparkling Charleston Cosmopolitan 

sparkling cosmo

This drink is second in effectiveness only to sticking your fingers in your ears and shouting “NA NA NA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” when your toddler is having a life-changing tantrum!

2. Candy Cane Cocktail

candy cane

This minty libation comes in handy when your toddler is freaking out over the broken candy cane your brother-in-law was dumb enough to give him.

3. Pumpkin Pie Martini

pumpkin pie martini

When you are ready to lose your shit on your own precious pumpkin, give this creation a try. You can be basic AND dull the pain of holidays with a toddler all at once!

4. Frosty The Caramel Apple Pie

frosty cocktail

When the third consecutive viewing of Frozen won’t work in stopping your toddler on her reign of terror, forget fucking Olaf and down one of these life-savers.

5. Peartini


Your little one might have tipped over their bowl of pears today but that doesn’t mean you should skip out on this healthy serving of fruit. And alcohol!

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