Surprise! Bad Parenting Decisions Are Coming In ‘Bridget Jones 3’

It’s official: Bridget Jones is returning to the big screen. Entertainment Weekly has confirmed the rumors, which have been circulating since 2009, that there will be a third installment of the horrid popular title (Bridget Jones’s Diary was released in 2001, followed by Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason in 2004).

Bridget Jones costar Colin Firth he plays Mark Darcy pretty much gave the plot away when he told Access Hollywood: ”I can tell you that Bridget [Renee Zellweger] and Mark can’t have children, I think that’s the way it goes on. So then she makes the huge mistake of going back to Daniel Cleaver [Hugh Grant‘s character] for long enough to get pregnant. And I think he dumps her, and she’s left stranded, and guess who comes back to rescue her?”

I am praying that Firth was only joking. Because, really, how many times can one plot be recycled over and over again (desperate Bridget chases after Daniel, he’s a dick, Daniel rescues her)? Even with what little info we have on the flick and let’s assume for a moment that Firth’s plot is accurate I can say with 100 percent certainty that Bridget Jones will be the worst fictional mommy role model ever.

If you ask me, Renee Zellweger’s character as a desperate singleton in the original Bridget Jones’s Diary was totally irrelevant even back in 2001. I don’t care that the movie was critically acclaimed and that women swore it captured their lives (blah blah blah). Bridget is nothing more than an extreme example of a weak and pathetic woman with a major body-image problem and zero self-worth (this coming from someone who couldn’t get enough of Sex and The City). I can’t even imagine what kind of crappy mother she’ll be in this new installment. And I’ll probably never find out since I have no intention of seeing it (until it plays on an airplane screen in front of my face on mute five years later. Then I’ll peek).

All this to say that if Bridget becomes the same type mom as she was as a single woman that is to say pathetic and totally annoying you’d be best off to leave your partner at home if you have any hope of getting knocked up yourself. Because once the guys get a load of this baby, they will run for the hills. And I can’t say I’ll blame them.


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