Parents Who Move To The City Intent On Turning It Into The Suburbs Need To GTFO

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Here’s an idea – if what you want is the suburbs, don’t move to the city.

The city is loud. The city is alive. Generations of people have raised their children in this loud, alive mecca. Now, surburbanites with money want to move to the city because it’s the greatest place, ever – but they’d like it to be just like their boring, quiet, suburb. That’s not how it works, people. You don’t get to move to the city and change all the rules. I don’t care how much money you have or how precious you think your kids are.

I read an article in the Brooklyn neighborhood blog Brownstoner that reminded me just how entitled and annoying this new breed of city parents are. In this particular article, a woman was complaining about living next to Prospect Park, near an area where residents are allowed to barbecue. Apparently, KIng Special Snowflake, Daz Ryan, isn’t aware that not all people have a backyard. He’s started a petition to ban barbecues in the park. Does this dude have nothing better to do with his time than try to destroy summer? Here’s a little blurb from the petition:

The Park’s current policy basically corrals dozens of barbecues and a large number of people into small designated areas.  There is no limit to the number of barbecues.  Such a policy effectively does not provide adequate ventilation and endangers the health of those living, walking, playing and sitting nearby as well as to the barbecuers themselves!

Data available on the website shows that the population of Brooklyn and all of NYC has increased over the past 10 years.  The number of park users and barbecues has also significantly increased.  What may have been good policy in the past may no longer be good policy today or for the future.

Yes, moving forward, rich yuppies would like to not breathe any pollutants, okay NEW YORK CITY? It may have been fine for middle to lower class residents of the city to breathe this crap, but now that the rich people are here it’s got to stop! Too many brown people congregating in one area, too. They don’t like it.

This pretend issue reminds me of the MIster Softee outrage from a couple summers ago, in which the same type of entitled parents from the same neighborhood in Brooklyn started a petition to ban ice cream trucks because they found it too hard to say ‘no’ to their kids:

Dozens of recent comments on a Park Slope parents message blog said ice cream vendors need to leave the area, especially places around the playgrounds and parks, to help avoid afternoon meltdowns and temper tantrums from children craving frozen treats.

“Go somewhere else, go on another corner because…it does make it too tempting for them,” Debbie Markovic said Monday as her lactose-intolerant daughter begged for ice cream.

Ban ice-cream trucks, a Brooklyn summer staple, because you can’t say ‘no’ to your kids? Are you kidding me? There were of course the usual noise complaints regarding the trucks, to which I say – get over yourself.

Yes, the city is loud. Yes, it can be annoying. Yes, you have to deal with a bunch of stuff that you just don’t have to deal with in the suburbs due to the very number of people living all around you. But just because you were able to afford your multi-million dollar brownstone and are now “living the dream” – doesn’t mean you get to turn the city into your peaceful, quiet, suburban den.

If you want quiet – move back to the suburbs. Everyone is sick of your incessant whining anyway.

(photo: blurAZ/ Shutterstock)