being a mom

Stoner Moms Vs. Lush Moms: Can’t We All Just Get Along?

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Stoner moms. Boozy moms. As the newly named Creative Director behind Koa Beck’s new ‘Labeless Parenting‘ movement (T-shirts coming soon to a store near you!) I’m trying really hard not to label moms here but I’m not sure what else to call you. Moms who spark it and moms who like the “mommy juice” — hate that term. It makes it sound like a mom is filling a tippy cup with a cartoon monkey on it full of a very expensive Barolo and getting lit. All of you moms who use recreational substances to make it through your afternoon playdates and marathon laundry sessions are at war with each other. War! And you stoner moms are especially sick and tired of being judged by you wine drinking moms!

From Moms

“Being judged for doing something nontoxic and totally organic, enjoying a god-given plant, by moms who suck back two bottles of Chardonnay like sports drinks feels like s—,” complains Margaret. “Any hypocrisy is hard to swallow. A drunk mother is pathetic and I often leave parties when I experience other mothers tying one on.”

Hey “Margaret” — why so judgey? It wasn’t even two bottles of Chardonnay, it was half a bottle of Pinot and only because I recently discovered that my teenage son was spending four hours texting his girlfriend in the middle of the night. Gimmie a break!

I’m not a stoner mom. I personally don’t spark it because pot makes me sleepy and hungry and if I want to be sleepy and hungry all I need to do is stay up too late and skip dinner. But I have no issue with stoner moms. As long as they are not Phish fans. I kid! I kid! All you raging Phish fans get on with your Phish-loving selves. Pot just isn’t for me, and it hasn’t been for twenty years (I’m so old.) Maybe pot has changed in the last twenty years and it’s suddenly the best thing ever and if I became a stoner mom I’d be a much happier and productive mom and I would enjoy it more than the occasional glass of wine, by at this point in my new life I’m just too lazy to try new things, which is why I still use a hair scrunch on occasion.

I don’t judge stoner moms. I don’t have an issue with my own children being friends with a kid who has a stoner mom, or parents who smoke pot. I assume that if a parent does smoke a bit of weed they usually do it away from their children and make sure the children can’t get into their stash.

The article goes on to say:

“Is she smoking while taking care of an infant, in front of teenage children, or sharing it with her children?” asks Nancy Day, an epidemiologist and professor of psychiatry and epidemiology at the University of Pittsburgh’s School of Medicine. “It is also critical to know whether she is pregnant or not, as we know that marijuana use during pregnancy affects the central nervous system development of the fetus. Additionally, since marijuana is still an illicit substance, has she considered the message she is giving to her children?”

Call me a pollyanna, but I really don’t think a lot of parents spark it in front of their kids or share it with their kids, and I have never personally known a pregnant mom who is also a stoner mom. I’m sure they do exist, I’ve just never encountered one. I’ve also never asked a mom if she is a stoner mom when arranging a play date with our kids. I always ask if a parent keeps handguns in the house, but never if a parent sneaks off behind the garage to smoke a bowl before making macaroni art with my kid when they are over. I  have never had a parent ask me if I drink a glass of wine with dinner, but I wouldn’t be scared to answer that question. I would never drive after drinking, and I assume stoner moms would never drive after getting high. As long as a parent isn’t using drugs in front of my kid I personally don’t feel it’s my business if they smoke some pot or have a cocktail on occasion.

We’ve all heard that marijuana is a “gateway” drug to harder and more illicit substances but I think when you reach a certain age you know the type of person you are and I don’t think a lot of women in their thirties who are stoner moms suddenly develop a raging meth habit out of the blue, and if they do if my kid is spending time with their kid I would probably know if something was becoming a problem.

I don’t worry about stoner moms any more than I worry about moms who like to drink on occasion. And I don’t judge either type of mom, as long as they don’t judge my hair scrunchie.

(Photo: Jiri Miklo Shutterstock)