8 Stock Photos Of Dads That Are Completely Perplexed By Their Children

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Stock photos are essentially the best thing ever. You type in a few words, and up pops an embarrassment of riches; babies shoved in improbable places, women feeding their financial reports bottles, and my favorite: dads who don’t know what babies are.

According to stock photography, dads are bumbling idiots who wouldn’t know their own baby’s poop chute from a hole in the ground. It’s like a wonderful barometer for our times. You can just imagine a stock photographer planning their portfolios out and gleefully checking off the box that says, “bumbling idiot dads”.

Haw, haw, I can imagine them thinking to themselves. Everyone knows dads are big moronic morons.  Even better than the photos themselves are the keyword descriptions that accompany them. They sound like the titles to grand masterpieces of avant-garde artwork. Allow me to demonstrate with these stock photos of dads that completely forgot how to baby.

1. “Young new dad learning to take care of cranky newborn”




2. “Dad is wondering what to do with little baby”

-Daria Filiminova/Shutterstock

-Daria Filiminova/Shutterstock

C’mon, man. You just put the diaper on top of the diaper. Double sealed for freshness, dude.

3. “Studio shot of a father standing near son’s desk expressing confusion over homework, isolated over white background”

-Catalin Petolea

-Catalin Petolea

I imagine he’s wondering how many more denim washes exist in his favorite father-son jean shirt design.

4. “Confused businessman holding a crying baby isolated on white background”

father-scratching-head-holding baby

-Ljupsko Smokovski/Shutterstock

He’s scratching his head because he can’t figure out why his kid is so uncomfortable.It’s probably not the groin grip, so you can scratch that off of your list, confused businessman.

5. “Puzzled Father And Son Looking Abacus”



In both of their defenses, I never did figure out how to use an abacus either.

6. “Frustrated Multitasking Father Feeding His Baby While Working”

-Cameron Whitman/Shutterstock

-Cameron Whitman/Shutterstock

Welp, baby, it’s just you and me and this box of buttons and lights. Let’s get down to business.

7. “Closeup portrait of young handsome Caucasian father drawing with his cute toddler son, dad is confused, isolated on white”


-Dmytro Zinkevch

I’m not trying to be a dick here, son, but that might just be the worst doggie I’ve ever seen. You’re terrible at drawing.

8. “Father Holding his Young Baby with a Surprised and Confused Expression”

Barnaby Chambers/Shutterstock

Barnaby Chambers/Shutterstock

Um, whose baby is this? Does anyone know who this baby belongs to?

This last photo cracked me up, because the father isn’t the only one who looks totally gobsmacked in it. The baby does, too, as if he just apparated into his confused dad’s outstretched hands. They could basically switch faces and be the same photo.

Barnaby Chambers/Shutterstock

Barnaby Chambers/Shutterstock

You’re welcome, don’t mention it.