Holidays

STFU Parents: Why Does The Elf On The Shelf Hate Women?

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2. Sex And Partying

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According to most of these pictures, this horny Elf’s got GAME. He doesn’t pleasure the ladies — they pleasure him! He doesn’t lose his clothes at strip poker to a couple of girls — hello, they’re Barbies, they can hardly count, much less learn the nuanced game of poker. And y’all KNOW what happens when the Elf, aka DJ Naughty, hits spring break: The hoes love him! When an Elf’s game is tight, the bitches come running.

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