STFU Parents: Summer Travel Tips: Don’t Be “That Parent” On An Airplane

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1. Kids Running Like They’re In A Lavender Field

1. clothesline

Can you really blame Delia for wanting to trip the shit out of the kid whose parents have let him run up and down the cabin aisle? There are times when even flight attendants can’t (or won’t) solve a kids-on-muthafuckin’-planes problem, and all you can do is fantasize about punting the child out the emergency exit door and into the ether. Parents: Don’t let your kids run up and down the aisle — ANY aisle. Movie theater aisles, grocery store aisles, adult store aisles… It kinda makes people wish you and your kid were never born.


2. Active Kids = Angry Passengers

2. climbing on seats

Childfree plane zones are becoming a popular idea among both non-parents AND parents, and the scenario described above is a big part of the reason. Yes, it’s helpful to wear kids out so they’ll eventually fall asleep and stop asking questions or crying about juice pouches, but it’s important to know when to do this. (In a swimming pool: Yes. In an aircraft cabin: No.) How is a kid ever going to learn how not to be an asshole on a plane if all a parent does is encourage him to work out his energy by climbing on seats and acting like the kid in “Problem Child”?

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