Holidays

STFU Parents: Parents Who Are Doing It Wrong On Social Media This Christmas

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6. Baby’s First DIY Christmas Tree Ornament 

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For those of you keeping up, “It’s so not a melted candy cane” should actually be read as, “It’s sooooooooooo not a melted candy cane!!!1!!” because duh, that “melted candy cane” used to be a long, cord-like piece of flesh connected like a frontal tail from a baby’s abdomen to a giant temporary organ sac filled with nutrient-rich blood. Just PERFECT for drying, stretching into shapes (or words, as Patricia helpfully pointed out!), and then tying to a pretty ribbon to hang on a Christmas tree. Who wouldn’t want to sip some egg nog and watch the glow of the light pierce through this translucent, almost peppermint-y twist of old skin dangling from a tree limb? I know I would. I bet tree-trimming parties at Darrell’s house are a real hoot.

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