STFU Parents: Parent Parking Drama On Facebook

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4. Don’t Mess With This Momma

4. junkie car_retaliation at hospital

Ahhhh, parental retaliation. It’s a tried and true method of interacting with strangers if you’re a mom. You just treat other adults the way you treat your children when they disobey you, by punishing them and exerting your dominance. Easy! And as Melissa says, you don’t want to mess with a momma, because a momma will happily fuck up your car — especially if it’s a “junkie car” — if you leave her a note saying she already fucked up your car. What’s interesting about this example is that normally, I wouldn’t side with someone who didn’t park within the lines and is distracted on her cell phone. But in this case, A) These people are at the hospital. Who knows what the girl in the “junkie car” is doing there? Maybe she’s distracted because her grandmother is dying, y’know?, and B) Melissa manages to make me sympathetic to the “junkie car” girl anyway, just because she sounds like a classic mean girl. First, she hit someone else’s car enough to leave a mark AFTER choosing to park next to it, and then she retaliated by doing something additionally assholish, just because she couldn’t resist. Throw in crazy Aunt Helen or whoever she is and you’ve got yourself a party. Stay spunky, ladies! You go, girls! Next time, throw some large rocks or set the other person’s car on fire! Hehe.

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