STFU Parents: The Continued Obsessive Documentation Of Children’s Teeth

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2. Enthusiastic Mom Hygienist In Training


All right! Way to go, Carson!


Aww. Give that lil guy a juicy steak!


Okay, ladies, that’s quite enough. Stephanie “Mommytobe” — it sounds like you already ARE a mommy, no? And Patricia and Sara…could you two just take this riveting conversation oh, I don’t know, anywhere else? Not because you’re really crowding Facebook with your teeth chatter, but because I can assure you that NO ONE CARES. (I’m starting to sound like the “poison pen” bitches now, aren’t I?) Sara may very well inform Facebook of each and every tooth of Carson’s that comes in. And then she’ll probably make an announcement when they fall out. And then she’ll have no friends left who haven’t hidden her in their newsfeeds. The closer Carson gets to being able to eat any option on the kids menu, the closer Sara is to having “empty sockets” for internet friends.

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