STFU Parents: Mom’s Gold Star Kids’ Drawings That Are Priceless Works Of Art

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1. Ambien-Inspired Body Art

1. annie's back art

Ambien can make people do bizarre things (see a friend’s post about that here) — but apparently it can also inspire a young daughter to step outside her creative box and view her mother’s backside as a canvas, just perfect for a bigass garden with a rainbow and some abstract sunshine. When I first received this submission, years ago, I was baffled as to what I should do with it. Keep it in my archives forever? Print it out and tack it to a bulletin board as a reminder to take never take Ambien? It’s not exactly a glowing report of Crystal’s role as mom, if you consider what else her kid could’ve gotten into while Crystal lay passed out on her side. If you’re so zonked out on drugs that your kid can essentially treat your body like an oversized piece of construction paper, you might want to ease it back a bit. That said, Crystal did the right thing. Rather than march straight to her favorite tattoo parlor to get this drawing etched into her skin forever, as many other stupid parents would’ve done, she chose to post this image on Facebook with full disclosure that she somehow allowed this to happen. Her child took advantage of her, and there was nothing left to do but share it with the world. I approve (and hope those were washable markers).

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