STFU Parents: Mom’s Gold Star Kids’ Drawings That Are Priceless Works Of Art

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One of the most entertaining types of STFU, Parents submissions is a facet of the Mom’s Gold Star category. I first discovered my love of kids’ drawings when I posted about Swingy Dong and Jetpack Banana Thrower Dong back in 2012, and I still believe those two penis-shaped monkeys deserve their own show on Cartoon Network. That post, along with Porn Gravy, which was less of a drawing and more of a classwork assignment, led to a whole round-up of children’s drawings, marking one of my most personally beloved posts of all time. There’s something so innocently hilarious about the mind of a child in written form. They don’t know how to censor themselves, nor do they try. With a marker in each hand, their undeveloped psyches laid bare on a single sheet of paper, their creative minds at work, these mini-artists can physically illustrate what it’s like to be a kid again. Phallic images arise, along with family portraits that may or may not resemble something a kid would draw on Law & Order, and common symbols of everyday life are represented, like modes of transportation or street signs, except with a kid-infused twist. The ‘Drawings’ folder in which I store these masterpieces never fails to crack me up, especially because I’ve received so many different versions of kids’ drawings over the years.

Some kids don’t stick to paper. They take their work to a wall, or a hand, or a dog. Their artistic expression cannot be contained. And for every 20 pieces of “cherished artwork” (aka repetitive garbage) that a kid brings home from school, prompting oohs and ahhs from bored moms and dads, there’s a truly original concept worthy of celebration. My appreciation for these drawings only grows as time goes by and I realize that kids, for a brief window of time, can honestly get away with just about anything. Regardless of what they doodle — in whatever medium, or perhaps in words, when they’re first learning how to read and write — there’s much to be admired. Out of all the STFUP Mom’s Gold Star round-ups (and there are many), kids’ drawings might just be my favorite. Let’s take a look inside the creative minds of toddlers, one wonderfully terrible artistic concept at a time, with a smattering of submissions I’ve been collecting over the past several years. Art such as this may only get produced in a child’s first five to seven years of life, but its lasting impact will live on indefinitely.

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