STFU Parents: The Various Types Of Mama Bears On Facebook

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3. “Momma Bear” Protectors Of The Free World



This is a frequent — and frequently stupid — response from “mama bears” regarding current events and large-scale global issues. Whether a news story is about a suicide bombing, a mass shooting in a school, the threat of chemical warfare, or the problem of eradicating world hunger, mama bears (or, “Momma Bears”) are on the trail and poised to attack (according to the internet comments). In this case, a “Momma Bear” is responding to a Daily Mail article about terrorism with the argument that brutal fanatics haven’t met their match until they meet a Momma Bear from the good ol’ U.S. of A. This particular Momma Bear probably stands on her porch each day just waiting for a brutal fanatic to show up with a machete and some pipe bombs. Ha ha, that no good terrorist wouldn’t even know what’s comin’ to him until it hit him in the face with the force of a 300-pound ursine body, not unlike a military tank covered in fur. You want some of this, brutal fanatics??? Well BRING IT ON, bitches!

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