being a mom

STFU Parents: Labor Day Isn’t About Birth Stories, And Yet Here We Are

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4. “You’ve been warned.”

Overshare Part 1

Overshare Part 2

Ahh, remember ‘Notes’? We don’t seem to use them anymore like we used to, but for a couple of years if there was something BIG you wanted to share in a Next Level way on Facebook, Notes were the way to go. Notes allowed us to find out “25 Random Facts” about our friends, but it also allowed Amber’s network to learn every detail of her labor and delivery. From the TKTK to the TKTK, her birth story has it all. Or, I assume it does, because every time I try to read it, I get bored and start taking pictures of myself as a giraffe on Snapchat. To be fair, Amber starts off her birth novel by saying that she’s currently working as nursing assistant so her “filter” might function differently from other people’s, but I think we all know that’s nurse speak for, “I’m going to tell you a bunch of shit you don’t care about, and y’all can just deal with it.” If she truly didn’t know “what’s gross and what isn’t,” she wouldn’t have included that caveat in the first place. And somehow pictures are “still to come,” even though most of us know more about baby Caeli Rose than we do our own spouses. What would you rather learn after a friend’s childbirth — what her baby looks like, or how many vaginal tears she has? #justsayin’

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