STFU Parents: Woe Is Mom: Here Are The Drive-Thru Rules

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1. Christine And Her CAPS LOCK


If you need a drink holder and you’re in the drive-thru, basically just take your four coffees and go drive off a bridge. If it’s cold outside and you don’t have two kids in the car that you have to unload, GET OUT AND WALK, you torpid slug! Put on your coat and use some common sense! And if you think moms have 100 arms and are even remotely capable of walking 50 feet from the order counter to the parking lot without spilling their coffee, well, you’re a real JERK who must not have kids. PRO-TIP, ASSHOLES: Moms need their Starbucks, and they need it QUICKLY. If you are slowing moms down in the drive-thru, you are slowing down the growth and development of our children—our future—and you are ruining every mom’s perfectly good, perfectly rushed morning with your LAZY ASS. Figure it out!

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