Mommyshame

STFU Parents: Don’t Brag About Your ‘Push Present’ On Social Media

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5. The Worst Excuse For A Push Present Of All

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Hands down, the most excruciating faux-reason for getting a new car — ALWAYS an SUV, mind you — as a push present is that a woman’s “hubs” aka “hubster” aka “ol’ moneybags who better have a life insurance policy” just wants his wittle girls to be safe out there on the big, bad highway. This validation is often trotted out when a couple has daughters, because Daddy can’t stand the thought of anything happening to his li’l ladies, and a brand new SUV is just what the doctor ordered to keep them extra safe! You know what else keeps them safe? Tory Burch sunglasses. A Swarovski-encrusted cell phone case. Seat-warmers. XM Satellite Radio. And the new Maroon Five album.

Godspeed, Naomi. It’s especially thoughtful of you to let the members of the ‘Pregnancy & Motherhood With Endometriosis’ page know all about your sweet post-baby ride. I’m sure the women who are still struggling with endometriosis on that page really appreciate the glimmer of hope in the shape of an $84K Land Rover. You’re quite the giver.

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