STFU Parents: Don’t Brag About Your ‘Push Present’ On Social Media

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1. Woe Is Mom: Push Present Edition


Ughhhhh it is soooo boring sitting patiently at a car dealership with absolutely nothing to do except read a book, listen to music, or surf the entire internet which has all the answers to every questions in the universe. Like, HELLO, Melissa isn’t in the mood to just sit and browse current events or god forbid read boring-ass Wikipedia while other people service her new car. Couldn’t there be a nail salon in this particular waiting room for soon-to-be moms who are picking up their 6-cylinder push presents? Or like, a Kids R Us with a martini bar? That would be helpful.


2. Moms Are Winners


I like the way Jaime calls her push present a “prize,” like she’s an Ultimate Fighting Champion. Did this sparkly ring also come with a diamond-encrusted heavyweight belt? Did she ‘push’ out her baby and hold it over her head while screaming, “GIMME THE JEWELS!!!”, just before her husband slipped the ring on her finger and pinned a big blue ribbon on her hospital gown? Did she get an engraved trophy for the living room mantle that says “Jaime Rules So Hard” on it? Nothing would surprise me at this point.

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