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STFU Parents: Facebook Documoms Still Fascinated By Their Children’s Infections And Fluids

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6. Ear Wax Removal

ear wax candle_90

Here’s a little “TMI” for you guys: I, myself, use ear wax candles, and I have for years. For those of you who don’t use them, they look just like this, and there is something fun about seeing a tall flame shooting up out of the side of your head. HOWEVER — and everyone who uses ear wax candles knows this — the first and last rule about ear wax candles is that you must NEVER, EVER unroll the wax to discover what’s been suctioned from your ear through the magic of hippie technology. And if you’re the kind of sick freak who DOES — and I most certainly am — you must NEVER, EVER show it to anyone else, because it’s so, so gross.

ear wax_85

Perhaps to the naked eye, this seems small and insignificant — a tiny glob of ear wax smeared across Facebook — but let me assure you, it is revolting. I know this from personal experience, and Lyndsay sums it up nicely with her caption. So here’s my question: If something that melted out of your child’s head could be described as a barf-worthy wax plug, why put it on Facebook? Better yet, why photograph it at all? The memories need no safe-keeping. Lyndsay and her son can do it all again in mere weeks, and I’m guessing they probably will. Maybe the next go-round, she can just throw away the candle before turning it into some kind of mixed media still life.

‘Ear Wax On Wood’, 2013

Materials:
beeswax
paraffin scents
heat elements
natural ear wax from human skull
wooden floor

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