STFU Parents: Parents Who Are Demanding About Their Kids’ Birthdays On Facebook

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3. Bobby’s Birthday Wishes


Kimberly’s message is friendly enough, but her casual — apologetic, even — approach to Bobby’s Birthday Wishes strikes me as somewhat contrary to how the actual list reads, which is actually kind of rigid:


Something tells me this list did not end at number seven. Also, I know Kimberly is providing specifics for efficiency purposes, but do you know what my mom did to ensure that I got *exactly* what I wanted for my birthday when I had parties as a child? I’ll tell you: Absolutely fucking nothing. If I got two of the same Barbie doll — if two friends had parents who were kind enough to purchase me a Barbie doll — my mom would exchange one for me later, or I would just keep both, or give one to a friend. Whaaaaatever. No one was skywriting ‘Blair’s Top 10 List Of Toys, Books, And My Little Pony Dolls’ over my friends’ parents’ homes. My mom didn’t mail my birthday party invitations with a Xeroxed copy of my very specific gift desires with stupid notes no one cares about like “she just wants a new Barbie because her brother stole the other one’s head.” I remember the joy of opening gifts at my birthday parties growing up, and that’s ALL I remember. Kimberly, Bobby, and the Decepticons might want to give it a rest.

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