STFU Parents: Parents Who Brag About Their Kids’ Achievements On Facebook

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5. Multitasking Math Whiz

5. math + pooping

When spending quality time on the toilet, some children goof around on their iPads while others are busy doing math equations in their head. Nothing like a trip to the bathroom to put addition and subtraction into focus! If you take a solitary dump in the loo, add the number 256 to 256, carry the four, and then divide by the Number Two, you get ONE proud mama!

6. Painting Prodigy Auctions Off Important Work

6. Pollock_80

BIDDERS, TAKE YOUR MARKS! Get that pointer finger on your computer mouse, because this masterpiece ain’t going for pennies, okay?

Read more: This is a work of art painted with the signature stroke techniques of Jackson Pollock, available for charity because the artist is a good boy who not only donates his work to Relay for Life auctions, but listens very attentively to instruction in art classes, as well. He is not above learning more about his craft, despite being a raw talent, and this fact alone should ensure the painting will go for $1500-2500. However, the bidding will begin at $5. You’ll be helping someone in need, building your art collection, and investing in your future with this prized piece. Buy your tickets now to have a chance to bid! If you have even the vaguest notion of what greatness looks like, you know this opportunity is not to be missed.

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