mom fun

STFU Parents: Yoonique Baby Names To Avoid In 2015

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Believe it or not, I don’t write these baby name columns to upset people or directly insult all the little Sierraleones and Subarus out there. I’m not pointing my bitchy finger in the face of any child in particular who’s named after a “Game of Thrones” character. I’m just having a little giggle whilst throwing my hands in the air and saying, “Let’s all give up now.” Besides, I feel pretty justified, given the latest story about France denying parents the right to name their kids Nutella and Fraise (sacré bleu!) coupled with the story about the $32,000 baby naming service out of the UK that guarantees the creation of a “unique” baby name by “a team of 13 naming specialists and historians.” This is a subject that’s constantly being written about and mined in the media, so I’m certainly not alone in my assessments. Not to mention, I feel it’s my duty to counterbalance the horror that is this sincere article about giving your baby a “winter name” like Kodiak, Gale, or Spruce. Don’t do that to your kids, people. No amount of hot cocoa makes that okay. No amount of whiskey does, either.

Let’s check out this year’s contenders for yoonique baby names to avoid — unless, of course, your other kids already have yoonique names themselves. Then I guess you may as well just go for it.


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