STFU Parents: 5 Ways Parents Rang In The New Year On Facebook

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5. With A Series Of Complaints

thank you

If there’s one type of submission I can count on at New Year’s Eve, it’s parents complaining about fireworks. Generally speaking, parents are not fond of loudness when their baby is sleeping (although they really don’t give a shit if their crying baby wakes up their neighbors, because sleep-deprived sympathy just doesn’t work both ways like that). And it’s one thing for the disruption to be in the middle of the day during nap time, but during evening hours parents get straight-up loony about their baby’s sleep.

Truth be told, on other nights of the year, I can respect that. However, on New Year’s Eve and the Fourth Of July, exceptions must be made. Especially if the fireworks are being set off around midnight. Because, you know, it’s a new year, and a holiday, and people like to celebrate. Some people. Not all!

scared to death

Fireworks are dangerous — True. Fireworks are loud and upset babies and pets — True. Fireworks should be reserved for professional use — Probably true. But do any of those points negate Yellow’s comment? Nope. I can’t disagree with any of Pink’s statements, but fireworks are already illegal in many states where people set them off for hours on certain holidays. Rule of thumb: If you’re one of very few people in your newsfeed complaining on Facebook on New Year’s Eve while everyone else is out celebrating, perhaps they’re not the anomaly.

submitting to STFUP

This is my favorite example of the three, and not just because of Tori’s shout-out, but because Melanie’s comment is the Angry Parents Facebook equivalent of “Get off my lawn!”

Parents (and Aunts!), every time you want to complain on Facebook about celebrations that are taking place on major holidays, ask yourself if you sound like a 90-year-old with her hearing aid turned up too high. If the answer is yes, put in some ear plugs and remind yourself that it’s just one night. Besides, who wants to start a new year in a bad mood? That’s even worse than a hangover.

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