STFU Parents: 5 Types Of Royal Baby Facebook Updates
This week, Royal Baby Madness took center stage — at least, in my STFU, Parents inbox it did — as millions of people anticipated the birth of William and Kate’s baby, finally. After what felt like two years of waiting, the world was given its Simba. Some people were so consumed with the Royal Baby, they even found time to criticize the new parents on their car seat usage, proving once again that parenthood today comes chock full o’ judgment whether you’re a plebeian or official royalty. Ah, modernity! Social media gives us all the ability to comment on everything, and the discussion surrounding the Royal Baby’s highly publicized birth was no exception.
So in that spirit, it seems most appropriate to dedicate this week’s column to the ways in which some parents acknowledged the birth of Prince George of Cambridge on Facebook. Weighing in on popular subjects on social media is already a habitual pastime for many, but what amuses me are the various “angles” that people take in order to be a part of the conversation. You can’t just say, “Congrats to Will and Kate!” and go about your day. Where’s the fun in that? Or rather, where’s the “me” in that? Let’s check out some ways parents infused a little bit of themselves into this week’s Royal Baby story.
1. Projecting
Some women, like Kristy, took one look at their TV screens and instantly flashed back to their own labor and delivery experiences. Then, after comparing those experiences to Duchess Kate’s, they decided once again that it sucks not being royalty and took to Facebook.
2. Name Drama
Alicia had been waiting for several weeks to make a formal announcement that IF William and Kate’s son was to be given the same name Alicia picked out for her son, she would not be backing down from her decision. There is further documentation somewhere on her Facebook Timeline to confirm her baby name choice, and if Prince George had in face been named Prince Liam, I’m guessing everyone who met Alicia’s baby in the future would get to hear that whole boring backstory again and again. Alicia’s friends should be feeling pretty grateful about now.
3. Royal Babyjacking
Just out of curiosity, how many people do you think Joanne babyjacked with news about her niece’s third birthday? I’m going to guess at least five, maybe more.
4. Baby Announcement
Alison and Ariel are an adorable couple with a cute baby announcement…but why the hell did they make the announcement the day Prince George was born? To get extra attention and increased SEO by mentioning the Royal Baby in their status update? Well, then, mission accomplished! I saw several examples of this, along with several baby sex announcements, and I couldn’t help but wonder why those people didn’t just wait until like, the next day.
5. All Babies Are Royalty
Another popular status update the day Prince George was born was the “My baby is royalty, too!” update. This is something some parents felt so passionately about, they couldn’t even spell “ROYALTY” correctly in their emphatic updates. Oh, Ilene, we all know what you meant. Several hundred other parents posted the exact same thing you did. Remember, U.S. citizens, we do not live in a constitutional monarchy, so calling your baby “royalty” is just a loving expression. In England, Prince George is *actual* royalty, so there’s no reason to compete. That being said, no one is stopping you from putting your baby’s face on a ceramic plate, so get crackin’ on that memorabilia.
