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Steiff’s Teddytaur Is The Perfect Gift If You Have A Ton Of Money And Want To Horrify Some Children

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Being a blogger is a pretty decent job, but if I could re-do all my life choices, I might dedicate myself to making high-end children’s toys. Just imagine! You get to spend every day wrapped up in the whimsical joy of childhood, and then your nights getting super drunk and making things like this:

steiff-teddytaur

(Photo: Steiff-shop.jp)

Are you a rich and eccentric toy collector, or a person who has a whole lot of money and wants to freak out some small children? Has Steiff got the toy of the year for you! This is the Teddytaur, and it is a half-pony, half-teddy bear monster created just to fill you with whimsy and horror.

This eldritch chimera delightful and totally kid-friendly children’s toy is made by Steiff, which is a very high-end purveyor of extremely expensive toys, so a lot of high-quality materials and painstaking craftsmanship went into the creation of this nightmare. It is made of alpaca and stands 12 inches tall and according to Rocket News 24 is selling for $410 on the Steiff Japan website. Only a very few people can hope to own one, however, because life is inherently unfair and only 1,500 of these were made.

This thing looks like what happens when you try a Pinterest project while drunk. If Toy Story were real, the Teddytaur would clomp around like a hastily sewn-together monster crying, “Why was I made this way!?”  Now that I think of it, I think the Teddytaur is our first proof of what happened to Andy’s neighbor from the first Toy Story movie. The weird kid next door seems to have moved on from melting plastic Army Men together and became a product designer for Steiff. Good for him!

I hope everyone is drunk enough to truly appreciate the wonderful weirdness of this bizarre little toy. I think I’ve been staring at it too long, because I’m starting to want one. $410 is way out of my price range, but I have a pair of scissors and a glue gun … Pinterest awaits!

H/T Rocket News 24