It Is Sexist To Pity The Stay-At-Home Dad
I always wanted to do more. But soon enough, this proved impossible, and my husband and I had to split everything 50/50 to even survive with two kids at home. It helped that my husband always saw us as an equal team.
In a recent New York Post article, the stay-at-home dad is well aware of the tilted balance in his â€œprofession of choice:â€
A female neighbor tiptoed over, all pitying smiles, to show me, the hapless man, how to use the laundry room dryer. Iâ€™d been living in the building for six years, washing clothes once a week, which means Iâ€™d worked that dryer over 300 times. I am a spin-drying genius. â€œThank you so much,â€ I smiled at her, swallowing back the words, â€œand youâ€™re a sexist.â€
He goes on to explain:
My wife and I made a deal 12 years ago. I would leave my office job to pursue my dream of getting a novel published, taking on freelance work (I compile crosswords) while writing fiction. But I would be earning less than before. In return, I would look after the house.
To me, this makes total sense and should become the norm. My husband and I recently talked about the fact that if we ever needed a stay-at-home parent (we both work at home now), he would be the one to do it because I make more money. I would have been uncomfortable with this years ago because of the stay-at-home culture pushed down my throat, but now I am on board.
My point is this: It is not just the dads perpetuating the stay-at-home sexism. As in the example above, women are a major part of the problem too. Women pitying the poor, bumbling dad in the laundry room reinforce the undertone that dads canâ€™t handle momsâ€™ work. Iâ€™ll be happy when these roles become obsolete, and the stay-at-home mom or dad is finally called the stay-at-home parent.