Sorry I Accidently Corrupted Your 5-Year-Old With My Lady Gaga Halloween Costume

A couple of Halloween seasons ago, I was babysitting one of my favorite kids. I had just prepared dinner, all during which I had answered the kid’s multitude of Halloween questions.

Did I know what she was going to be as Halloween? No. Did I know what her best friend was going as Halloween? I do know. How come there were so many cat costumes on Halloween? No idea.

Although I adored dinner conversation with this little one, it was always challenging to get her to eat and maintain a dinner conversation. Considering that her mother held me accountable for a cleared plate, and not conversation topics, I was fixated on getting the little girl to chow down. Every time her fork went to her mouth, however, she had a new insight into Halloween that she wanted to share. Finally the question came of what I was going to be for Halloween.

I hesitated for a moment before saying, “Lady Gaga.”

Now this was a few of years ago when the performer was still relatively new on the scene so her outfits weren’t quite as over the top yet. I was aiming for the classic Gaga with a black leotard, tights, boots, and blonde wig with straight bangs.

Although this little one enjoyed her TV time, she had no idea who Lady Gaga was.

“Show me on your phone!” She pointed almost instinctively to my Blackberry and requested an image. Her mother is an avid iPhone user, so I’m not surprised she was able to know that I could produce such an image.

I decided to grant her request and skimmed though some Google images before showing her a relatively modest picture of GaGa walking down a red carpet in a leotard. I told her that I would going in a similar ensemble.

“She has no pants,” the little girl observed.

“That she does not.”

What opened then was a Pandora’s box of questions regarding why Lady Gaga did not wear pants and why she wore funny things in her hair. When I said good night to the little girl an hour later, her head was still spinning with questions regarding the woman. Was she a super hero? A cartoon character? What did she eat?

Considering Gaga’s attire and eccentric presence, it doesn’t surprise me that children would find her fascinating — because if you squint, she does kind of resemble an animated cartoon character. Days passed and when I returned to my babysitting duties, the little girl was still on a Gaga kick, telling me that she had heard some of her music and seen a part of one of her videos. I didn’t dare ask which one — that’s for her parents to contend with.

A couple of days before Halloween, her mother broke the news to me that her daughter had lost interest in her cat costume altogether and wanted to go as Lady Gaga. I kept mum as the mother openly pondered how her daughter even heard of such a salacious performer considering that she only vaguely knew of her herself.

“Must be her father,” the single mom grumbled as she started unloading the dishwasher.


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