So Long, Bladder Control! I’m A Mom Now

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I have a confession to make: every time I skip rope in my weekly boxing class, I pee in my pants. (We’re talking a full-on Depends moment here, ladies.) Ditto brisk walks, light runs and, oh, just about every time I sneeze.

If you haven’t already guessed, I’ve given birth twice (vaginally). Which means I now have zero control of my bladder. Pilates-trampoline class, anyone? Save it for your c-section buddies (trust me, I’ve been there, and things got sticky).

When my friend A. endured two emergency c-sections with both her boys (now ages 8 and 5), she was heartbroken. Like many moms hoping for the more traditional vaginal route, she felt robbed of the “natural” childbirth experience (yes, because pushing an eight-pound watermelon out of your vagina is natural).

Years later, as we v-types are secretly examining our damaged goods in the mirror, A. is laughing all the way to the bedroom. Why? Because she’s got the vagina of an 18-year-old while her friends are, well…let’s just say it ain’t pretty.

So, yes, emergency c-sections suck. They’re scary and dangerous and the recovery time is long. But, if you’re forced to have one, look on the bright side: you’ll save thousands of dollars in panty liners (and, hey, you might even run a marathon one day).

P.S. Kegels are a myth.