Stuff

I Am That Sloppy Mom At School And I Am Cool With It, So Shove Off

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tired mom in car

A year or so ago, I was in a car going to a “girl’s weekend” trip. In the car were some close friends of mine and a couple of moms I didn’t know. About halfway through the drive, one of them says, “You know those moms that show up at school every day in the same tee shirt and the same jeans, they never wear makeup, and their hair is always in a pony tail? It’s like, make an effort!”

I took a look at myself. My high school tee-shirt, one of my two pairs of comfortable jeans, no makeup, and my hair in a pony tail. Instantly, I was filled with the kind of joy that only comes when you are about to give someone a well-earned “fuck you.” I said, “Actually, I am that mom. So…super sorry about that.”

It felt good. Really, really good.

No, I don’t “make an effort” when I drop off and pick up my kids from school. I wear jeans that are comfortable, shirts that are comfortable, and shoes that are comfortable. They are soft, they are casual, and they are me. I don’t wear makeup because shit — who the hell am I trying to impress? I work at my dining room table and I am no longer dating. As for my hair, it is in a pony tail 24/7 because when my hair is down my neck gets hot and I hate that.

So why on earth would anyone care? It was confirmation that some hot moms do, in fact, look down on us schleppy moms. I don’t know why. Maybe that’s still a major source of their self-esteem, or maybe they’re just bitches. But I am not about to strap on a pair of heels and put on eyeshadow to go to school.

That’s not to say that I don’t sometimes feel a little sheepish about my appearance, because I have my moments. There are days when I am rolling into school in my sneakers and unplucked eyebrows and I see one of the hot moms, and I think, “Oy. She’s pretty hot. I must look like a fifth-grade boy next to her.” But then I look down at that red mark where the strap of her heels is digging into her ankle, and I get over it right quick.

I don’t make an effort because I don’t want to. And I don’t want to because I don’t feel like I need to. I have an amazing husband who loves me the way I am, awesome kids, and fantastic friends. I am comfortable with myself and my place in the world. I don’t have a life that requires fancy, so I don’t force it in.

Besides, if anyone who knows me saw me come to school with my hair done, makeup on, and a cute outfit, they’d say, “What the hell? Are you going to meet the President after this or something?” Because that, my friends, would require some heels.

(Photo: XinXinXing / Shutterstock)