The Skincare Routine That Took Me 6 Years to Perfect

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Ugh, to go back to the days when drinking and smoking all night and then passing out in full makeup was just fine. I’m 36 years old, and I wholeheartedly admit to taking good skin for granted for a good chunk of my life. You know the kind of skin I’m talking about, right? Nice and tight, no blemishes, no dark circles. NO WRINKLES. Just dewy and light without a stitch of makeup! Having kids fucked that all up for me, so thanks to those adorable little monsters. I started to get serious about skincare when I hit my thirties, and have tried … an embarrassing amount of products in the last six years. But I think I’ve finally found the winning combo! While I don’t typically leave the house without makeup, it’s down to a light BB cream and under-eye concealer. So I’m calling my routine a win, and hey! Maybe it can help you, too.

First things first when it comes to skincare: I NEVER EVER sleep in makeup. Like, ever. And the face wash I use is cheap and lasts forever.


Image: Target

I love, love, LOVE Soap and Glory’s Face Soap and Clarity Vitamin C Facial Wash from Target. It’s not harsh at all, but it takes off all my makeup, and keeps my skin feeling tight and moisturized. I know some people are down with the oil cleansing, but it just leaves my skin feeling super greasy. I have combination skin, and this face wash has been a godsend.

Three nights a week, I scratch that good pain itch and roll tiny needles all over my face. It’s fucking fantastic.


Image: Amazon

I held off on using a derma roller for a while, because honestly, it terrified me. Like, it seemed like the kind of thing that should be left to professionals? But I had some stubborn acne scarring that didn’t respond to anything else, and I was kind of into the pain aspect of the roller. So I bought this one from Amazon and went to town. Make sure your face is super clean (I wash to remove makeup and then wash again). Using LIGHT pressure, roll the wheel horizontally, vertically, and then diagonally all over your face. I cannot stress this enough: light pressure! Even though I use a roller with the smallest needle gauge, I pushed too hard once and a bunch of little dots of blood popped right up. Oops.

On the nights I use my derma roller, I also slather actual snail goo all over my face. Skincare is gross!


Image: Amazon

So, I’m not sure you know this, but Koreans know a thing or two about skincare. I was turned onto the Mizon Snail Repair Intensive Ampoule by a friend, and I am hooked (you can get it on Amazon). It’s snail goo, I’m not going to lie to you. But we do what we have to do, right? After washing my face, I apply a light layer. Then I poke my face with needles. Then I apply a second layer when I’m done. It’s helped my skin in so many ways: reduced the appearance of wrinkles, minimized acne scars, made my skin tone more even. It feels amazing going on, and doesn’t leave me feeling like I have a film on my face.

On nights off from needling my face, I use my own personalized skincare cream from Curology.


Image: Curology

Curology is a really cool concept. You take a picture of your face without makeup, upload it onto their platform, and then a dermatologist develops your own personalized cream, depending on your problem areas. Mine addresses wrinkles, breakouts, and uneven skin tone. Fact: I have not had a pimple since I started using it. Fine lines around my eyes? Gone! Sounds expensive, right? Listen: I pay $39 every two months for a two month’s supply. DAS IT. It’s a subscription service, it’s sent to your door once a month or every other month. Could not be easier.

The final step in my skincare routine isn’t actually anything that I put on my face. It’s something I put in my body.


Image: Amazon

If you’re not already taking a collagen supplement, what the actual hell are you waiting for? I use powdered collagen from Zint, and I dissolve four tablespoons in hot water and add a squeeze of lemon, then down the cup. You can add it to pretty much anything, it’s flavorless, but hot liquids work best. Guys, collagen kicks wrinkles right in the balls. Just, poof, gone! Not only that, but it’s great for joints, hair, nails, you name it. Get on the collagen train.

So that’s it! That’s my skincare routine. I wish I could say that drinking lots of water and getting plenty of sleep works for me, but I am not so great at doing those things with regularity. So I spent some money, I devote some time, and I now have great skin. Just gotta buy myself some time until I’m Botox-years old, and at this rate, that’ll be a long time from now.

(Image: iStock / Wavebreakmedia)

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