Being A Single Mom Is Hard As Hell, So Don’t Blame Them For Jacking Father’s Day

Father’s Day was yesterday, and several of my friends with single moms thanked them on Facebook. This is something people apparently seem to hate, as evidenced by a lot of anecdotes floating around the Internet about how stupid it is when moms claim a right to a day meant to celebrate fathers. The reason this happens, is because Moms still comprise over 75% of single-parent households. They literally are doing the job of two parents. So if they want to make a harmless Internet declaration on Father’s Day – so be it.

If the sheer number of single father households were larger, they  might be doing it, too. Well, maybe not, since way more single fathers live with a partner – 41% to a single mom’s 16. Single fathers also have higher incomes than single moms and are way less likely to be living at or below the poverty line – 24% versus 43%. This isn’t to say that men don’t deserve to be honored on Father’s Day, just as women deserve to be honored on Mother’s Day. This is to say – why do we care? Is it really so terrible for a woman who works her ass fulfilling both parental roles for her child to claim right to the day? I don’t think so.

I’m not a single parent, but I’m currently playing one while the father of my children is working out of state. I work, manage a household, keep everything clean, cook, shop, take out the trash, discipline, kill insects, wake up to investigate strange sounds in the night – and fulfill all the needs my kids have – solo. I promise you if I had to do this full time, I’d probably be claiming a right to that holiday, too. Because it’s fucking hard as hell.

I also think that kids without fathers like to thank their moms on Mother’s Day so they don’t feel left out of a major Hallmark holiday. Probably the same motivation that has some brides asking their moms to walk them down the aisle, instead of choosing a male stand-in. There are so many dynamics that people don’t even consider when things like this come up. Basically – single moms have it hard enough. So when I saw a few memes on Facebook yesterday that celebrated moms on Father’s Day – I had no problem with it. And I would have not problem with men parenting solo making the same harmless jokes on Mother’s Day.

Basically – single parents have it hard enough and they are doing both jobs. If they want to accept compliments on a holiday whose sole purpose is to celebrate fathers – and they do fill that role – I say, if the shoe fits, who cares?


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