Childrearing

Let’s All Boo Simon Cowell For Boasting About Not Changing His Son’s Diapers

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simon-cowell-diaperThere is no excuse for a the able-bodied, sound-of-mind, physically present parent of an infant to have never changed a diaper. OK, you guys are creative and I’m sure someone can come up with an excuse. (The father is Edward Scissorhands. Or a ghost. Or the mother has a gluten allergy and the baby is made of pizza dough.) But in most cases it is unacceptable for a parent to have never changed a diaper, especially when the baby is 15 months old like Simon Cowell‘s son.

Simon Cowell adores his baby. Cowell’s Instagram feed is littered in photos of the two of them, and Cowell’s son is adorable. But according to Glamour UK, Cowell has never changed little Eric’s diaper in the entire 15 months since he was born.

“I still haven’t changed a nappy yet but I loved being a dad,” Cowell said.

Ugh. That’s ridiculous, and it’s not something to boast about. Roll up your sleeves and get in there, Cowell. Changing diapers is an essential part of childcare, just like feeding and washing and sticking your fingers in their mouths when they try to eat things off the floor.

I understand that changing diapers seems like a big, intimidating deal before the baby is born. Babies are squirmy and fragile, and poop is horrifyingly disgusting. Changing diapers is the activity upon which we project all our parenting fears. “Will I drop the baby? Will I hurt the baby? Am I still the ‘me’ I was two years ago if I have touched another human being’s poop?”

But aside from all the psychic baggage we put on diapering, diapers are really, really easy. Lift butt. Wipe till clean. Apply new diaper. Throw old diaper in trash. Done! (If diaper is cloth, then google instructions for cloth diapers and follow the accordingly.)

Baby poop isn’t even like real poop for a very long time. Nature is kind sometimes, and when it comes to babies she gives us a good 6 months or so of milk-fed baby poop that doesn’t smell all that bad and is quite easy to clean up. After you start introducing solid foods the diapers become a completely different story, but by then parents are pros at changing diapers. Or at least, they should be. Simon Cowell isn’t, because he hasn’t done it.

(Photo: Twitter/SimonCowell)