Letter From A Reader: Help This Dad Find A Sex Toy For His Wife

Sex Toys For Moms We have a new question from a reader this week, and it involves your favorite subject, sex toys. I love reader letters and I love being able to help people when I can, so all of you readers out there keep ’em coming. And all of you readers who take the time to answer these questions, please continue to do so because I never have all the answers or the right answers, and you guys are all way smarter than I can ever be.

A few days ago, my wife and brilliant mother of my children revealed to me that WE should entertain the notion of getting a sex toy.  I was absolutely ecstatic with the idea.  I know a lot of men might feel intimidated or put-off at the idea of their significant-others using a synthetic in place of one’s own manhood, but I’ve COME to realize that we are in this together, sex is for both of us and why the hell didn’t she say something earlier and how long has this frustration been going on anyway?My wife is extremely shy about discussing sex in general.  She cannot talk about vibrators, fluids, or womanly-needs without flapping her hands and exiting the room.  After twenty-five years of being together, I have an idea about what she might like in a toy, but – as you can surmise – these things aren’t exactly returnable and some models can get quite pricey.  The last thing we want is for her to feel pressured into liking something that isn’t right for her.  There are just so many variables.
My question is:  Aside from Amazon reviews, how else does one choose a particular sex toy from the thousands that are available? She will not do this on her own.  She’s made it very clear that I have to be the one to acquire this item.  I have a lot RIDING on this.Thank you ever so much.


See, my answer would be check reviews of places like Amazon and Babeland and other sex toy retailers so thanks a lot for saying you want suggestions other than that! My only advice would be to buy something terribly expensive, because most women don’t want anything that costs less than a new Lego set anywhere near their lady garden. Maybe you could make some flash cards with images of popular sex toys on them and show them to your wife and then she can make a discard pile of those that don’t appeal to her. Do what I do with my kids at Christmas, get her a catalogue of items and she can circle those that appeal to her, except in this case don’t get a FAO Schwartz catalogue because that won’t help you at all. I do think it’s amazing cool that you want to make your wife happy and you are coming to us for advice, but keep in mind there might be a lo of trial and error in this, and she may hate the first few things you purchase. Go slow, listen to her, and pick a time to explore all of this when your children aren’t screaming in the next room. That always helps with women being relaxed during sexy time.


Since your wife is shy, a toy may give you both something else to focus on so she feels a little more relaxed. Just a thought. Anyway, I see absolutely nothing wrong with checking out Amazon reviews because I literally do all of my shopping online and never leave the house. But if you must leave the house, I suggest that you take her out to a nice dinner and give her just a glass of wine or two. Then, with her permission, take her on a shopping trip to an adult toy store together. If you go together and it is a fun date outing, I’m sure the salesperson can suggest something you both will like. WINK!


I would pick something small and unobtrusive to start out with, given that your wife might freak out if you come at her with a giant purple dildo or something. If you want to narrow your search, I’ll echo Eve’s Babeland recommendation. Just a thoughtin my opinion I’d go with a smallish vibrator and not something that mimics any actual anatomy, because in my mind, those are much less intimidating. There’s definitely going to be a trial and error aspect to this, but think of that as an opportunity to increase communication with your wife about sex and to experimentthere’s nothing wrong with building up a collection. Make sure you show it to her before you’re all naked and crap, and don’t just whip it out mid-intercourse.


Ok readers, now it’s your turn! What advice would you give this dad?

(Image: getty images)

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