Moms, Let’s Talk About The Sex Toy Advertisements On The Back Of Your Mini-Vans

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Get your giggles out now, we’re about to talk about sex toys. Sex toy parties, to be exact. Yes, I know you’ve all attended. Whether it was for a bachelorette party, a birthday, or just because your friend ran out of watermelon-flavored lube, we’ve all been invited to the modern woman’s “Tupperware party.”

Personally, I’m not a huge fan of talking about sexy times paraphernalia with a bunch of women I’m going to see at work, or at my nephew’s next birthday party. It’s just not my cup of tea. But even I’ve squealed and blushed behind my penis straw with groups of women during a “Pure Romance Party.” I’m not judging anyone for their participation in such an event.

That being said, I noticed something a while back that taught me by surprise. A mini-van driving through my neighborhood with a huge, “Pure Romance Parties by Katia,” cling-on decorating the back window. It had a phone number to call and a reminder that they “Put the ‘O’ in Romance.” Even better, driving the mini-van was a middle-aged man and his three children were sitting in the back seat. “Katia” must have sat this trip out, wherever the family was headed.

Katia’s was not the only van I saw with a huge “Pure Romance” advertisement. It turns out these marketing tools are customizable and gaining in popularity. Around me town, I’ve learned that Nancy, Sarah, and Monica all throw sex toy parties and are all happy to assist groups of women putting “the ‘O’ in Romance.” I’ve seen these mini-vans and SUVs at elementary school drop-off and buying groceries at the store. Every time, I can’t lie, I feel a little sorry for the kids and spouses that ride around in those cars.

Listen, I realize that moms are sexual creatures. We wouldn’t get pregnant otherwise. I don’t have a problem with ladies getting together to order dildos. Do your thing mamas. Make sure to keep your smell and taste hands separate and have some fun! This is not about a lady’s choice to buy or sell sex toys.

But I find the mixing of your personal sexual proclivities and your children’s transportation to be uncomfortable. Am I the only one who feels embarrassed on behalf of the guy driving his wife’s car? Or the kids whose friends can read that cling-on at drop-off? Imagine being the 6th-grade boy whose mom sells sex toys. Man, middle school is hard enough.

I get that these are businesswomen who are just trying to promote their products. I can appreciate any lady making money to help support her family in the way that works best for her. I just feel like there’s a way to be a bit more discreet. Or maybe just to separate your professional an personal lives a bit. Instead of a wall cling, advertise on Facebook for people in your area. Get in the phone book. Go to some networking events.

Really, anything but the “Pure Romance” car decal that makes your husband look sheepish when you guys switch cars for the day.

(Photo: Lightspring/Shutterstock)