Seeing The MTV Video Music Awards Through A One-Year-Old’s Eyes

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As I was watching the VMA Pre-Show, I saw an adorable little girl in bright red dress float across my screen. Wait… was that a baby? At the MTV Video Music Awards? It was! Foo Fighter’s guitarist Pat Smear brought his little one with him on the black carpet. Funny thing though, I can’t find a picture of them anywhere! And this little darling was much better dressed than the majority of the people at that event. All I have is this microscoptic screen grab that was already pulled from DailyMotion. As you can see, Smear is definitely carrying a one to two year old little girl. And believe me, as someone who actually saw the little girl cheese for the camera, she’s adorable.

As I watched the rest of the awards, all I could think was, “My Gosh, how would a one year old interpret this type of production? What on earth is that little girl thinking? Here are my pretend thoughts for Pat Smear’s precious little girl.

Arriving at a really bright, loud place. Seriously, why are all these people screaming? We need 3000 binkies in here stat. This dress is uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable, Dad. I am not in the mood for a dress. I bet if I puke on it, he’ll let me take it off.

Um, is anyone else seeing the dragon up there? There’s smoke billowing from its mouth, it has to be a dragon. It’s a yelling, angry dragon! Why are we all ok with this? Someone remove the dragon!

Oh! I know her! I’m sure that I’ve seen her somewhere before. Was it Teletubbies? Or maybe Sesame Street? That’s it, she definitely helped Abby Cadabby. But it kind of looks like she’s had a few playdates with Ocsar lately.

Ok.. My Little Pony, all the way. I’m going with My Little Pony on this one. My mom would be super mad if I got that much icky sticky stuff in my hair.

Oh Yay! They’re cheering for Daddy. Wait, Daddy! Where are you going? Seriously Dad, do not leave me with these people. Where the hell are you going?

Ok, Daddy’s back. We’re ok now. This lady looks sad. But her song is pretty. It’s kinda… making me… sleeeeeepy…..

Whoa, he’s flying! I’m back! How is he flying? Is that Peter Pan? Dad… can we fly? Ok… maybe this isn’t as cool as I thought. Nope… still… sleepy.

I think the poor little baby girl missed the rest of the show. I was definitely tired of it by now. I’m sure she had to be exhausted.

(Photos: MTV)