having a baby

If You Want A Second Baby Shower, Throw It Yourself

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shutterstock_166739576I never ended up having a second baby shower because I had my kids really close together—16 months apart, to be exact. (It was on purpose! I swear!) I really never gave having a second baby shower a second thought because I was still in the midst of caring for my first baby. We had all of our baby stuff, and as a bonus, we were having a boy again. We were all set.

I have never felt strongly about a second baby shower either way, until I decided to throw one for a friend. This very close friend did not ask for a second baby shower, but she was grateful. I just wanted to throw her a little get-together at a restaurant to give her something to look forward to during her pregnancy. We said that gifts were optional, and everything went off without a hitch.

But there are a number of people who think it is undeniably rude to have a shower for a second baby:

Unless there is some unusually circumstance (like long periods of time between kids or some other odd think like twins after 1) I think it looks greedy. People were I live usually spend a decent amount of money on a shower gift, plus another gift when the baby is born. People still might give you something when the baby is born so you can regis. somewhere to get more what you want, but a shower can look tacky. The baby is still celebrated with out asking people to shell out lots of money on more gifts.


Tacky, she should have a party to show the baby off once born (not a shower).


I have to agree with Felecia. A second shower seems greedy. If it’s been around 6 years since the birth of your last child, then that would be acceptable. Another acceptable scenario may be if something unfortunate has happened, such as a fire or the death of the first child. A celebration of the birth of any child is appropriate after the baby is born. Gifts are optional. An alternative to a shower could be a diaper party. It’s a little more low key and people don’t feel pressured to buy big ticket items.


I learned that in most cases, a second baby shower is acceptable only if someone else throws it for you so that you don’t look—gasp!—greedy. However, I have seen several friends and family members swing in the opposite direction by choosing to throw a second baby shower for themselves. To me, this makes absolute sense. Throwing a baby shower can be tedious and expensive. If you want to have a gathering to celebrate your next child, then take on the expense of the party. (This is excluding the example of my friend above because I asked to throw the shower for her.)

Is it fair to say that once you’ve had one baby, you can never have a festive baby-related celebration again? Baby shower etiquette is murky at best. While many people believe second baby showers to be taboo, I’m on board with parents throwing their own party if they want to celebrate with loved ones again. You send out the invites and make all the food, and I’ll bring a gift.

(Image: Olesya Feketa/Shutterstock)