Clueless Administrator Makes 5-Year-Old Who Pointed A Crayon At A Student Sign Contract Promising Not To Kill Anyone

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A five-year-old girl in Alabama pointed a crayon at a fellow student last week, and allegedly made the sounds “Pew! Pew!” The school responded in the most bizarre way. Not only did they send the child home, they made her sign a contract that said she wouldn’t kill herself or anyone else. Whose brilliant idea was that?

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She was given a questionnaire titled “Suicide and Homicidal Assessment Scoresheet.” I wish I was kidding. I’m not. Who hands something like that to a five-year-old? While her mother — who wants to be identified only as “Rebecca” — was in the lobby of the school waiting to pick her up, they made her five-year-old sign a contract with all sorts of words she’s probably never even heard before. They also had her evaluate her own mental state with questions about depression or whether she’s had thoughts of hurting herself.


Any child under the age of 19 in Alabama cannot legally sign anything, in case you were wondering if there were an actual point to putting a child through this.

From Local 15 TV:

“My child interrupted us and said, ‘What is suicide mommy? Daddy what is suicide?” said Rebecca. “As a parent that’s not right. I’m the one should be able to talk to my child and not have someone else mention words like this in front of her at all.”

Rebecca is pushing to have the incident removed from her child’s record. She said school officials have requested Elizabeth see a psychiatrist.


The kid pointed a crayon at another student. The over-reaction is pretty funny, considering Alabama has some of the laxest gun laws in the country. You don’t need a permit to purchase one, a license to own one, and there’s no requirement to register one. They allow open carry and there is no assault weapons law. Just make sure you don’t teach your kids to mimic the noise they make – or all hell will break loose.

(photo: Local 15 TV)