School Kids Suspended Over ‘Happy Crack,’ Which is Just a Huge Bag of Sugar


Some South Carolina parents are rightly pissed this week after their 8th graders were suspended from school for having “happy crack,” which is not drugs or illegal at all. It’s genuinely just a big bag of sugar.

According to Fox 8, the kids were buying and selling a huge bag of Kool-Aid mixed with sugar. The kids lick their fingers and put them in the bag, and then lick the sugar off their fingers. (When I was a kid we used to do this with packets of apple cider mix or powdered lemonade sold in the cafeteria.) Sure, eating huge amounts of sugar is not good for a person, but when the school found out about it, they actually suspended nine students over it.

”The way she called me, I thought my son died,” one parent said a Fox News reporter. ”She said there’s this epidemic going on at school with ‘happy crack.’ I Googled it. I’m like Kool-Aid and sugar, are you serious? I was appalled. I was floored. I really didn’t think it would go to this extreme.”

The school reportedly said that possession of anything that “looks like an illegal substance” is against school rules and that “look-alike substances or substances that mimic the effect of drugs will be treated as illegal substances.”

Treating lookalike substances as though they were the real thing for disciplinary purposes is why an 11-year-old from Virginia was suspended from school for a year for having a Japanese maple leaf in his backpack. As we discovered this Halloween, a lot of adults can’t tell a Japanese maple leaf from a marijuana leaf, but at a certain point school administrators need to be able to act like rational people and say, “Maybe it’s not a good idea to suspend children for drug possession when they don’t actually possess drugs.”

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