8 School Fundraisers That Should Go Directly In The Garbage Can

As the mother of two kids in grade school, I am inundated weekly with fundraisers we are asked to participate in. Their school is trying to build a new playground and I am very supportive of that endeavor. The PTO has had parties and Fun Nights at school where the admission price and all money spent on refreshments and games go toward the playground fund. I think that is an awesome way to raise money, as are the t-shirts they sell, because it all feels very much optional. You know what I hate? The stupid packets that come home selling over-priced shit that no one wants or needs. And that every other kid in our giant district is also trying to sell. That means most of my mom friends have to sell for their own kids and I hate to keep bothering my family members. So you know what ended up happening until recently? We would just buy some dumb stuff ourselves so we don’t feel like schmucks. Not anymore.

I have decided recently that I refuse to burden us with this nonsense any longer. The ordering, the money collecting, the distribution of the items after the fact- it is all one giant pain in my ass. I wish they gave us the option at the start of the year to just write a check for whatever amount we can do and call it a day. I really am at the end of my rope. That said, some fundraisers are certainly worse than others and at this point, I have seen them all. Here are the school fundraisers I have been sent that go directly in the garbage.

1. Avon


I know many people are loyal to Avon and I’m not bagging them as a company but I think this is a super awkward thing to have little kids hawking. It is a pretty private purchase and just doesn’t jive for me as a school fundraiser but our kids brought it home the first week of school this year. All The Ugh.

2. Tupperware

can't do it

I love Tupperware and Pyrex but the catalogs for fundraisers are always SO overpriced. I can do much better at my beloved mother-ship, Target.

3. Otis Spunkmeyer cookies


$16 for heavy, frozen, cookie dough that can melt on the way to delivering to it’s buyer. Even a baking novice such as myself could whip up some decent chocolate chip cookies and buy every single ingredient for that $16 with tons leftover. No thanks!

4. 31 Bags


Why are these so over-priced? I got a $25 lunch bag for myself once. The handle tore off after three months. FAIL.

5. Wrapping Paper And Other Garbage


This one has been annoying since I was a kid and my own mother refused to sell it. $20 for a roll or two of wrapping paper that will tear just as easily as the $5 brand- what a bargain. Who would buy this besides my sweet, gullible, 84-year old grandmothers who I would never bamboozle?

6. Holiday Plants

middle finger

Our kid’s old daycare did this one every year and the poinsettias and wreaths are beautiful but do you have any idea what a large pain in the ass it is to load 20 poinsettias into your trunk to deliver to your friends and family? A very large pain.

7. Pricey Candy


I don’t know what ever happened to the $1 candy bars I used to sell so easily for my figure skating team but they seem to no longer exist. Instead, we get catalogs of over-priced crap candy that no one wants. Candy is an impulse purchase and a big box of giant $1 Kit-Kats are much easier to unload than expensive candy on the pages of a catalog.

8. Coupon Books


Now, I know these can come in quite handy but they are mostly for local establishments and many have restrictions on days of the week the coupons can be used. All of our family lives out of the area so these are largely useless to them. Even the chain restaurants in them are usually only for local franchises. These suck.

(All GIF’s: Giphy)

(Image: luminaimage/Shutterstock)

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