Scary Mommy: The 10 Stages of Choosing a Halloween Costume

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Kids-Halloween-CostumesStage 1: Realization. This stage typically occurs in late August. You know, when CVS begins to display candy corn on all of their end caps. Wonderful. Just wonderful, dearest CVS. You have officially ruined the months of September and October, not to mention the last few days of summer because now we get to entertain the question, “How many more days until Halloween?” for approximately 57 days. Sweet. (No pun intended)

Stage 2: Assessment. Now that the sugar radar is officially on high alert (no really, thanks again, CVS), your child will begin to assess his/her options. No, that’s not one of your old college essays your child dug out of the memory bin, it’s the latest Halloween costume catalogue that he graciously annotated with permanent red marker. After he’s done feverishly circling, starring and x-ing you can find comfort in knowing he’s likely narrowed the pool of costume contenders down to 27 options……

Stage 3: Commitment. The committal stage typically occurs at the bus stop or in another social setting when your child decides to blurt out, “Hey guys! I’m gonna be a TRANSFORMER for Halloween! Boo yow!” When he gets blank stares from his friends who have decided to be the cast of Star Wars he will quickly move into Stage 4….

Stage 4: Denial. Ha. Ha. HA!!!…He was totally kidding about being a Transformer. Duh. His little brother is going to be a Transformer. (Then he whispers in your ear to ask if you can rent the Star Wars movie, so he can see what options remain).

Stage 5: Panic. After a visit with older “cooler” cousins or friends, your child will learn that they are going “practical” this Halloween and being football players. What is a kid to do? Panic sets in. Should he band with the friends or be cool like the cousins?

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