You’re A Jerk If You Exclude SAHDs From Your Playdates
If I see one more story about a father who’s been excluded from a playdate, been side-eyed at a playground with his kids, or left out of a birthday party because he dangles, I am going to turn this fucking car around, kids.
I’m not usually a huge proponent of the “what about the menfolk?” mindset, but there are some instances that piss me off bad enough to bring me to that place. Case in point, this dad over at Reddit who tells a sweet little tale about some neighborhood moms being complete and total buttnuggets to him by purposefully excluding him and his child from a scheduled, supervised, playdate:
“She banned me from the group but I could still read the message board where she said:
‘There is a guy that joined and I banned him from the group. I did some research about him and I don’t think he has a kid. This is a serious issue. He knows where we are going and the time. Do you guys wanna go to XXXX splash pad instead. I have never been there but I’m worried about the guy. Suggestions. What do you think?’
She posted all over not to go to the original park due to a security risk!
Unbelievable. I have a 2 y/o son (his first haircut actually was the top link for a few days on this sub) and no, I’m not some criminal.
I wrote her a very nice letter with lots of pictures of me and the boy and said that I understand first impressions are hard to get over so I understand if she can’t do it, but at the very least I wanted to set the record straight.
It is just crazy the flak I have to catch being a daddy just because it’s unusual for dads go to playdates and such.”
Sorry, I misspoke. What I meant was that this person cancelled the entire playdate because of deez nuts. Or really, doze nuts but I think you get what I’m saying here.
Let’s look at some of the details here. From the context, I’m assuming that a playdate was planned via some kind of internet meetup group, to which the dad in question RSVP’d, after which he was promptly removed from the group because some paranoid idiot is stupid enough to think that dude = molester.
Listen, I’m not saying don’t be cautious. But here’s a guy who stays at home with his kid, wants to get his kid socialized, and attempted to just that at a PARENTAL SUPERVISED PUBLIC PLAYDATE and instead got the banhammer and a big fuck you from the uptight mom who organized it.
Do you have any idea how much I would have loved to palm playdate duty off onto Mr. Theresa? Do you have any sense of how much he would have at least liked to just once participated in such an event? Sure, “just once” would have cured him of the inclination but it makes me go all she-hulk when I hear stuff like this because I automatically imagine my husband being suspiciously assessed and shot down, especially given how doting he is and with the understanding that he is totally the shiznits at dadding.
As SAHDs become more and more common, I feel like we hear about this more and more. One commenter relayed his experience pretty hilariously, if you find people being total bitchsticks hilarious:
“One time I asked a Mom in my sons class if her son would like to do a playdate some time. She said maybe, but never spoke to me again. The look she gave me though, it was priceless. If you can imagine a homeless guy offering Barbara Bush $5 for a “good time”, that’s the face. At first it hurt my feeling and pissed me off, but when you come to accept it’s about them, and not about you, it’s pretty funny.”
Stay at home dads, hear me! It is about them. You do you, and go find some awesome people who won’t act like you just scrawled “can little Timmy come over??” into the sandbox with your dick when you politely invite other kids to your home.
If I was having a play date, I would invite you, because my kid throws awesome “poison tea parties” and I refuse to be the one who wears a feather boa.