Rosie Pope Tells Mommyish How To Keep A Marriage Sexy

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rosie-popeIntimacy with your partner is harder to come by after you have kids – especially during the summer when they are in your hair all day expecting you to construct water parks and make every second a vacation. What do you do when you’re a parent, your relationship needs some TLC, and a house full of kids makes sneaking off for a romantic weekend impossible?  Rosie Pope – one of today’s most relatable parenting experts and star of Bravo’s hit show “Pregnant In Heels” – gave Mommyish some tips on how to keep the spark alive.

Pope has been married for over 10 years with four children ranging from seven years old to only three months, so if she can find the time and energy to ignore the kids and make her partner feel like a damn sexpot – we should be able to, too – right? She’s mastered “date night” and has learned that it’s the little things that keep a relationship going; like finding ways to insert a little romance into everyday situations. I always thought the little things that keep a relationship going were making sure to put the toilet seat down and not leaving stray silverware in the sink after you’ve done the dishes. Clearly I need her advice.

Pope says, “Every night can be Friday night. Don’t wait for the weekend to have a special night.” She thinks this can be done by turning normal activities into opportunities for romance: “Share some Prosecco during a nighttime shower. Or go for a run together followed by a couples dip in a home-made plunge pool (just fill your tub with cold water). Just choose something you both like doing and need to do and add a special twist.”

Prosecco sounds awesome, and I bet it would even work with the only alcohol we have stocked in our fridge with some regularity – Miller High Life. It is the “champagne of beers” after all. I’m imagining hopping into the shower with my husband and popping a cold can right now. The confused look on his face alone would be worth it. As far as running and a cold bath – my tub is too small and I only run if I’m being chased – but the advice is sound. Just fill in some things that you and your partner both love and make it your own.

In addition to the little, fun, romantic efforts, Pope reminds us how important it is to talk to your partner: “It doesn’t take a genius to realize communication is essential in a successful relationship, but it isn’t always easy to do.” She makes a good point about getting things off your chest instead of holding onto whatever problems you have. For example, I bet I wouldn’t twist the empty roll of toilet paper into an aggressive knot every time I saw it if I would just share with my husband that his inability to change it sends me into an indescribable rage. “Talking about things is far better than bottling it up over time and taking passive aggressive jabs when our partner has no idea what is bothering us” she says. “Beware though, you need to be able to hear their honest thoughts just as much as you dish out yours.”

Pope also realizes that although communication is important, it’s just as important to be able to decide what really needs to be shared. “Don’t share everything,” she says. “Strangers can be attractive because we don’t know all their inner floors.” For example, you don’t love your post baby belly? “Don’t draw attention to it. Insecurity is not saucy and they are almost certainly less concerned about it than you are.” Oops. I have failed this immensely. He still loves me. Win!

Finally, she encourages us to remember our own love stories: “Everybody has that special giddy time when they first met and it’s important to visit those moments in your mind and in your heart often.”

So true.