10 Ridiculous – And Real – Things We Said To Our Kids This Week
The most unexpected, hilarious part about being a parent is finding yourself saying the most ridiculous, outrageous things to your kids. Things you never imagined youâ€™d say, yet seem perfectly appropriate in the moment.
I didnâ€™t know that â€œDonâ€™t lick your brother,â€ would become an important part of my daily communication with my older son. Or that â€œDonâ€™t pee on your brother,â€ would be said every night at bath time. Sometimes after saying something inane like â€œShoes are not a hat!â€ I sit and laugh at myself. Shoes are not a hat. Indeed.
After catching myself saying these silly mom-isms, I started wondering what gems were being said in my friendsâ€™ houses. I asked around and amassed quite a collection. Here are ten of the funniest recent Mom-isms blurted out by my friends and family. I bet youâ€™ve even said one – or all – of these today.
Â 1) â€œDonâ€™t wipe your nose on the couch.â€
Oh man, this one and its variants are on repeat at our house. You know how people say that moms are chauffeurs, cooks, maids, therapists, etc,? Well, they leave out â€˜human tissues.â€™ My son is sure my hand, my shirt, or anything near him at the moment are made for him to wipe his nose on. Which reminds me that I need to get out my real tissues â€“ itâ€™s runny nose season.
2) â€œDonâ€™t pull on your brotherâ€™s penis.â€
After putting the call out, my inbox was overwhelmed with penis-centric Mom-isms. I think every mom of a boy has their own bizarre and hilarious – yet necessary – penis sayings. â€œDonâ€™t pull on your brotherâ€™s penisâ€ is pretty good advice â€“ Iâ€™m sure Iâ€™ll be adding it to my bath time routine soon.