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10 Ridiculous – And Real – Things We Said To Our Kids This Week

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The most unexpected, hilarious part about being a parent is finding yourself saying the most ridiculous, outrageous things to your kids. Things you never imagined you’d say, yet seem perfectly appropriate in the moment.

I didn’t know that “Don’t lick your brother,” would become an important part of my daily communication with my older son. Or that “Don’t pee on your brother,” would be said every night at bath time. Sometimes after saying something inane like “Shoes are not a hat!” I sit and laugh at myself. Shoes are not a hat. Indeed.

After catching myself saying these silly mom-isms, I started wondering what gems were being said in my friends’ houses. I asked around and amassed quite a collection. Here are ten of the funniest recent Mom-isms blurted out by my friends and family. I bet you’ve even said one – or all – of these today.

 1) “Don’t wipe your nose on the couch.”

wipe-nose

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Oh man, this one and its variants are on repeat at our house. You know how people say that moms are chauffeurs, cooks, maids, therapists, etc,? Well, they leave out ‘human tissues.’ My son is sure my hand, my shirt, or anything near him at the moment are made for him to wipe his nose on. Which reminds me that I need to get out my real tissues – it’s runny nose season.

2) “Don’t pull on your brother’s penis.”

harry-styles-pantsed

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After putting the call out, my inbox was overwhelmed with penis-centric Mom-isms. I think every mom of a boy has their own bizarre and hilarious – yet necessary – penis sayings. “Don’t pull on your brother’s penis” is pretty good advice – I’m sure I’ll be adding it to my bath time routine soon.

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