Resolution Week: Seven Things I Won’t Be Doing In 2014 Besides Getting Pregnant
I have two little kids and that is enough for me on most days, so I certainly will not be getting pregnant in 2014. Â But my list goes way beyond reproduction. Â While everyone is making their list of things they should do or change in the New Year, these are my resolutions not to do — as in, for better or worse, I’m keeping these things just the way they are.
In 2014 I vow NOT to:
I signed up for a Pinterest account in 2011 and the first time I logged in I spent hours browsing sites, picking the perfect board names, and pinning pictures of a me I longed to be. Â And when the work day was over and I logged off, I felt absolutely terrible about myself. Â I vowed never to log on again and although I have been tempted many times, I refuse to break that streak in 2014.
2. Â Play Candy Crush.
I am always shocked at how many of my friends are into this game. Â My writer friends, my lawyer friends, my babysitters. Â No one is immune from the addiction of this game. Â I have an addictive personality as it is, so I just know it’s best for me not to even try to play even once because before I know it I would be curled up in a ratty blanket on a street corner willing to do anything just to buy my way to another level. Â Candy Crush is the gateway game.
3. Â Watch What Does The Fox Say.
I admit I was more intrigued than ever when I saw a few snippets on some pop culture 2013 round-up yesterday, but I’ve never watched the video “what does the fox say?” Â I learned my lesson in 2012 when I opened my ears to Gangnam Style. Â Part of my addictive personality? Â Catchy shitty songs just play on a loop in my head until I want to go mad. Â Does anyone remember The Thong Song? Â *shudder*
4. Â Go With The Flow.
I enjoy being a contrarian. Â Most of the time — like when it comes to viral videos that drive everyone crazy — it serves me well. Â As soon as everyone is talking about it, whatever ‘it’ is becomes dead to me. Â For better or for worse. (For worse would be the fact that I’ve never seen a single episode of Breaking Bad. Â My husband might forgive me if I start the series this year.)
5. Â Deny Myself Bad TV.
I’m not above those Real Housewives, but let’s be honest they are getting WAAAAY boring. Â I am so tired of the same casts, the same crazy, the same over the top ridiculousness. Â Last season I gave up on the original OC cast and I’ve officially quit the Bev Hills clan too. Â But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy bad TV. Â I’m looking forward to the new twist in the Real World (inviting cast mates exes to the pad) and the grossness that will be 100 Days Of Summer.
6. Â Act Like I’m Not Totally In Love With Tina Fey And Amy Poehler. Â
These chicks are hilarious, smart and gorgeous. Â They are mothers, writers andÂ charitable celebrities. Â I look up to them in every single way there is to idolize a person and I can’t wait to watch them host the Golden Globes again…and again.
7. Â Grow Up. Â
I recently whined aboutÂ not feeling like a grown up because of all your Facebook pictures at Thanksgiving and I was so inspired by ourÂ Eve’sÂ rebellion against what we can and can’t doÂ after a certain age. Â So fuck it. Â I’m not growing up. Â I’ve got two kids and a husband and bills to pay — and I won’t shirk those responsibilities. Â But I don’t have to live by someone else’s idea of who I should be, or how my table should be set or what words I can and can’t add to my vocabulary. Â If that’s what it means to be a grown up, count me out.