being a mom

10 More Things That Will Make Your Babysitter Hate You

By  | 

6. You Share Too Much Of Your Personal Business

If we have a long term work relationship, I likely will see (and hear) some shit. I may witness arguments you have with your spouse about money or the kid or any other awkward, personal matter. But please don’t artificially expedite this intimacy by getting too real right off the bat about how your spouse–who is also my boss, probably–drinks too much, neglects responsibilities or otherwise endangers my sitting charge because, well, know how men/women are! No, I don’t – but I do know that everything’s a lot more awkward now.

7. You Subject Both Me And Your Poor Child To Baby Einstein

It’s fine to say your kid doesn’t get any screen time. That is your decision. I have babysit for kids who never watch TV and – as nice as it is to get that viewing break (hey, I’m just being honest!) – I completely respect and will honor whatever limits you choose to impose.

But please don’t forbid your kid from watching any movies, television or videos except Baby Einstein. Baby Einstein does not work. Baby Einstein is as good a tele-babysitter as Teletubbies or anything else featuring bright colors, simple music and babies, but is otherwise a scam. Baby Einstein is completely intolerable to watch as an adult unless you are on (really good) drugs (which your babysitter, hopefully, is not).

 8. You Inflict Non-consensual Nudity On Me

Unless you’ve just been doused with lighter fluid, for the love of god, keep your clothes on around me! Excuse yourself to go change! Just because I see your kid’s bits doesn’t mean I’m comfortable seeing yours. We are not cool like that!

(Exceptions are obviously made if you are breastfeeding your child. That is a 100% valid reason to get partially nude in front of your babysitter.)

9. You Leave Me With No Diapers

Nothing like picking up a screaming, stinking baby, carting it to the changing table and discovering that there is nothing to change it into. Is this a Project Runway challenge? Because I am not a fashion designer and I am pretty sure I did not sign a release form. Is this a sadistic test of my survival skills?

If you can give me money and point me to a nearby facility at which I am authorized to purchase staples for your child and it is not blizzarding or hurricaning out, cool. Work that out with me. But don’t bounce leaving me in a house devoid of devices that will prevent your little angel from literally shitting all over everything you own without a discussion.

This rule also goes for baby wipes, formula, solid foods or anything else your child will need during my time with them.

10. You Don’t Pay Me On Time

Whatever our payment agreement may be, that’s what you need to stick with. If You pay me once a week, at the end of the work week, that’s fine. If you pay me at the end of each day, that’s fine. Cash, check, direct deposit–whatever we agreed on is fine.

What’s not fine is “whoops! I forgot cash, can I pay you…someday?” A better series of words coming out of your mouth might be “Do you want to walk with me to an ATM on your way to the train or is a personal check okay?” What is definitely not okay, ever, is floating a balance indefinitely without ongoing discussion of wtf is going on and when you are going to pay up.

(Photo: Shutterstock)

Pages: 1 2