being a mom

13 Reasons You Should Clean On ‘No Housework’ Day

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Reasons To Love Housework

I’ve already written about how housework is all that and the proverbial bag of chips, but I thought I’d take another minute to write about all of the reasons that you should clean on No Housework Day, because I’m edgy or something.

 

1. You’re a BAMF

 

The internet and Gregoian calendar isn’t the boss of you, and therefore, it can’t tell you what to do. You do what you want, because you are a rebel. A rebel with a swiffer mop and a mimosa, telling arbitrary made-up holidays to eat it.

 

2. You’re a BAMFSAHM

Sorry, but staying at home is super boring. Yes, it’s rewarding and magical and (insert platitude here) but it’s also very boring. Less so when your children are in preschool, and then infinitely more sucktastic when they get to regular people school. There are only so many times you can rewatch every season of Law and Order: SVU before you start contemplating dark, horrible things. You might as well dust something.

 

3. People Will Leave You Alone

 

When I want people to step off, I grab a toilet brush because everyone gives me a wide berth. If they do approach me, I immediately ask them to please empty the dishwasher, and then suddenly they have stuff to do, leaving me free to blast Bollywood Dance Hits over my headphones and go to my happy place.

 

4. Cleaning Gadgets and Doohickeys

 

I am like a magpie in that small, shiny things instantly grab my attention and then I need them. It is for this reason that I am no longer allowed to wander down the “Kitchen Gadgets” aisle in Target or visit Williams-Sonoma in five different cities. The cleaning aisle is almost as good, because it is there that you can get that big fluffy thing that cleans fans and that small fluffy thing that cleans blinds. Also, if you don’t love cleaning, this is a great way to skirt it altogether. Why? Because it gives you the appearance of looking like you’re maybe going to clean, and then after you get it all home, you feel accomplished enough to not have to.

 

5. Mmmm, fumes

Delicious, delicious fumes. Do you know why the back of the bottle always has instructions that tell you to clean in well-ventilated areas? Because no one wants you to have any fun, that’s why.

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