Radical Christian Author Says He’s Going To Sue The NFL For Putting His Soul “In Danger” With Half-Time Show

… And they say liberals are snowflakes?! A radical right-wing author named Dave Daubenmire is threatening to sue the National Football League over asking Shakira and Jennifer Lopez to perform during the groundbreaking half-time show. According to this man, simply watching J.Lo pole dance and shake her booty side-by-side Shakira is enough for God to keep him out of heaven. Really.

”I think we ought to go sit down in a courtroom and present this as evidence of how whoever [is responsible for the show] is keeping me from getting into the kingdom of Heaven,” Dave said during his “Pass The Salt Live” podcast. ”Could I go into a courtroom and say, ”˜Viewing what you put on that screen put me in danger of hellfire’? Could the court say, ”˜That doesn’t apply here because the right to [produce] porn overrides your right to [not] watch it’? Yeah, well, you didn’t tell me I was gonna watch it! You just brought it into my living room. You didn’t tell me there were gonna be crotch shots!” “Coach Dave,” as he calls himself, also said that there should’ve been a warning that your 12-year-old son might get “sexually excited” and that the provocative performance was “discriminatory against the [Christian] value” he has in his house.

Dave Daubenmire says he wants to sue them “for about $867 trillion,” for putting his soul at risk for eternal damnation. Yes, for simply watching a half-time show that involved dancing and no nudity. Is Jesus really that unforgiving in the religion he subscribes to?

Later, he posted to Facebook a video with the caption, “Let’s sue the NFL.” The A Season Ordered by the Lord is wearing a cross baseball cap during the stream and warned viewers to listen to what he has to say before they “over-react.”

“I’ve been pondering all day about the debauchery of last night’s Super Bowl half-time, which by the way, I didn’t even have it come into my house. I turned it off, just because of past Super Bowls, I knew what it was going to be like,” he declared in the video. So he didn’t even watch, he claims, and wants to sue the NFL because its existence might send him to hell? Confused. “I’m looking for a lawyer out there, somebody who would join me in a class-action lawsuit against Pepsi, the NFL, [and the] local cable company. I don’t know who all we would sue, let’s sue as many people as we want to, for pandering pornography. Maybe that’s not the right charge, I’m not a lawyer. [Maybe] contributing to the delinquency of a minor. What we saw yesterday was a strip club performance at the half-time of the Super Bowl.”

The video has been shared only 95 times out of the 19K views it’s garnered. What’s super concerning is also when he says he has “two very attractive daughters” and questions whether he could take them into a school while being dressed like Jennifer Lopez was during her show so that they could twerk for a 4th grade class. The visual is disturbing and the comparison isn’t commensurate, so it may have been best for him to leave that out.

We don’t think this lawsuit is going anywhere, but we’ll be keeping an eye out on this guy just in case.