Anonymous Dad: My Boss Expected Me To Work On Black Friday, So I Quit

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160992425It’s November. Halloween is over and stores have already cleared the aisles for Christmas decorations.

For many, November is the month of recognizing Thanksgiving. Usually by overeating and laying prone for eight hours watching parades and football in glorious high-definition. Sure, some moms think Halloween candy is the root of obesity, but at least the kids are walking from house to house. For November, we can justify any extra calories as winter insulation, as if we were bears ready to sleep-away ninety days, a proposition my wife is all-too-eager to take me up on.

Yes, many think of turkey and stuffing. But there are a select few of us whose thoughts turn to a different form of hunting and gathering. The Black Friday sale.

A quick recap for those who are, as yet, unfamiliar with what Black Friday actually is. The Friday refers to the day after Thanksgiving Thursday. The Black refers not to the color of the sky when shopping malls open, but to the fact that accountants refer to a profitable company as being “in the black” (and, in contrast, a company that is not-
profitable as being “in the red”). It is this one, singular day where stores base their predictions on how the rest of the holiday shopping season will go.

Each year, small shop owners and big-box corporations seem to take Black Friday to an incrementally higher level of insanity. More and more stores are willing to open their doors the exact minute after Thanksgiving ends. Others will “unsuspectingly” leak their sale ads weeks ahead of time. Several now host private security firms and elaborate voucher systems to keep stampeding crowds under control.

Regrettably, mercifully – choose whatever adverb you like – It happens only once a year.

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