Park's Anti-Pedophile Ban On The Childless Makes Adults Whine Like Babies

A self-professed “family adventure park” in the United Kingdom has come under fire for a particular clause in their admission policy. At Somerset’s Puxton Park, any lone adult showing up to the admissions gate sans children is going to be sent packing as a (probably misguided) anti-pedophilia measure. No lone adults? Then how am I supposed to get my miniature-railroad-ride fix when I need a break from my kids?!

The policy is apparently intended as a deterrent to pedophilia, which, eh. Most people who molest children are people who know them, especially family members, so I’m not sure how much this really helps on that account. The park says it introduced the policy in response to a former local mayor, who is currently serving jail time for possessing indecent images of children – apparently the man had a habit of wandering around with his camera and taking some candid snaps of other people’s kids. Whatever effect this rule may or may not have in stopping pedophiles, I’m all about a setup that keeps grown-ass adults from hogging the lambs at the petting zoo or taking up the entire mini-golf course setting up elaborate trick shots.

Even if the park just had a few days dedicated to “no idiot college students to occupy the play-fort or middle-aged men over-invested in beating the elementary-schoolers at Go-Kart”, I’d be on board for that. Before kids, I was content to go to the cool local Children’s Science Museum only on their ‘adult swim’ nights, and while I love zoo trips, I tend to skip the cute fuzzies in the petting zoo when I’m solo. Based on the response on Puxton Park’s Facebook page, I am more or less alone in that sentiment, though. (I wonder if the people who are all about entirely banning small children from restaurants would be down with parks banning people without kids? It doesn’t look that way.)

The park, which features a petting zoo, slides, ball pits, and kiddie pedal-tractors, is described on its site as a “fun-filled experience for all the family“. Local resident Matthew Richards, however, doesn’t give a damn about your attempts to give kiddie creepers the heave-ho. The park also puts on falconry displays, and while it has special days set aside where anyone, with kids or kid-free, can attend, he wanted to see the falcons right. now. It’s his god-given right to be allowed admission to any business he wants. And he’s not the only one. The response on Puxton Park’s Facebook has been amazing, by which I mean I am amazed that people can get this angry over their theoretical access to whiffle bats. Head on over to page two for some of my favorite (ha) few examples of man’s inhumanity to Facebook comments.

1. Reading comprehension is hard Yes, a ban on lone adults is just like saying this woman’s 13-year-old son going to the adventure park makes him a predator. That is exactly what the park rules are saying

2. No really, reading comprehension is really hard

The park saying “no thank you” to single adults does not mean unmarried adults. This is not a comment on your relationship status, it just means if the rest of us have to be encumbered by the little darlings at the paddle boat launch, so do you.

3. Someone’s probably already having a wank over your kids, so who cares?Handling the situation with good grace, Sophie reminds us all that if you have a Facebook profile picture with your kids in it, someone browsing the Puxton Park comments for wank fodder is going to find it.

4. A ban on single adults is apartheid

No, that’s a totally reasonable comparison to South African apartheid. A single place being off-limits for single adults is just like Nelson Mandela’s struggle, and Samantha is a great hero for fighting against this oppressive pony-petting regime.

5. Single adults are a protected class now

Something here really IS that ridiculous, but I don’t think it’s what Knackered Mum thinks it is.

6. Soldiers died so that Martin could play in the ball pit It’s Armistice Day today, so what better way to honor our fallen heroes than using our freedom of speech to whine on Facebook about how men died in the fields of France to keep people like these Puxton Park mini-Hitlers from destroying our freedom!?