8 Pro-Life Pumpkins For People Who Hate Women’s Rights But Love Festive Crafts

So, pro-life pumpkins are a thing. Why didn’t anyone tell me this? I had to find out on my own while Googling “crazy pumpkin art.” It’s official – everything exists.

Where do I even start? The following amazing pumpkins were posted to The American Life League’s Facebook page over the past couple years for their annual “Pro-Life Pumpkins” pumpkin carving contest. I felt welcomed to their Facebook community right away, as I was seemingly directly addressed on their “about” page. I love it when people call someone who is pro-choice, “pro-abortion.” That’s fun.

If you’re pro-abortion then you shouldn’t mind perusing our site. After all, we’re not going to change your mind, right? If you believe it is a woman’s right to kill a child then you shouldn’t mind reading up on abortion procedures. We’re not going to debate with you: Abortion is murder, pure and simple. But, if you have a question, we will happily answer it for you.

Great! I DO have a question; when carving the image of a fetus crawling out of its mother’s womb — zombie-like — to escape the mythical late term abortion you all like to pretend is happening here, do you use a carving set or just a plain old paring knife?

1. Zombie Fetus is the ultimate in pro-life pumpkins


Here’s a comment that was next to this shot:

Screen Shot 2014-10-01 at 1.40.55 PM

Yes, Bethany! They did deserve to win for sure. Halloween is for scaring the crap out of little kids and making them cry, right? (NOTE: This photo is of a fetus being operated on at 21-weeks, to fix a spina bifida legion. Both fetus and mother were anesthetized, and any movement of the fetus was purely reactionary, as confirmed by the doctor. How and why has this fetus become the pro-life poster fetus?)

2. Thumb-Sucking Ultrasound Bore-Fest


Why carve a black cat or a ghost, when you can stay true to the spirit of the pagan holiday by carving out an ultrasound photo? It just makes sense.

3. Creepy Goblins In The Womb

pro-life-pumpkinAm I the only one who sees creepy goblins in the background kinda hanging out in this womb? Because if they’re in there this actually IS an awesome Halloween pumpkin.

4. Hold A Newborn Over Your Head Weirdness



5. Ultrasounds Are The New Black


This one looks like George Burns.

6. All Up In Your Face With The Pro-Lifeness 

pro life pumpkins

I wonder if Shia LaBeouf is okay with this?

7. Little Feet

pro-life pumpkins

It wouldn’t be a pro-life pumpkin extravaganza without little feet reminding us of little babies.

8. Not A Pumpkin, But Proof That a Pro-Life Pumpkins Contest Exists


This is so dumb. What the hell does this have to do with Halloween? If you love kids so much, why don’t you give the ones who made it out of the womb what they want; vampires, witches, skeletons, black cats, and candy.

(photos: Facebook)

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