Please Explain How A Pregnant Bridesmaid Is Going To Ruin Your Wedding

shutterstock_91263431I have been a bridesmaid many times, but I never had bridesmaids because I kinda, sorta eloped in a private destination wedding. I have been on the receiving end as a bridesmaid, and I also happened to be seven months pregnant the last time I was in a wedding.

Fortunately for me, my close friend getting married wasn’t a total twat about the whole ordeal. In fact, her wedding featured not one but two pregnant bridesmaids””me with a seven-month belly and the maid of honor with an eight-month belly. The bride was totally cool with us waddling down the aisle and was fully aware we were both pregnant when she asked us to be in her wedding.

Apparently, my nice, normal friend is an anomaly in the wedding industry. The more I read about bridesmaids and how they play a role in a wedding, the more I am shocked to hear about what bridesmaids can and cannot do (emphasis on the CANNOT).

Yes, some brides get really, really ragey if one or more bridesmaids turns up pregnant before the big day. Based on my stealthy Internet research, I can only assume it is because the pregnant bridesmaid could potentially upstage the beautiful bride””because we all know people would rather stare at an uncomfortable, sweaty pregnant lady instead of a beautiful, radiant bride elegantly floating down the aisle. Come on.

Here’s what a few Bridezillas had to say about pregnant bridesmaids “ruining” a wedding:




I still do not understand. Help me understand. The only semi-acceptable argument I can understand is that perhaps a pregnant bridesmaid may be uncomfortable (been there!) or even go into labor on or around the wedding day. Sure, that is a somewhat valid concern.

But all this nonsense about fat bridesmaids in the pictures? I do not compute. Most women want to have a picture-perfect wedding day, but in my way of thinking, a supposedly “fat” pregnant bridesmaid would only make the bride look even more beautiful in comparison. Right? Wedding guests don’t give two shits about bridesmaids as background decoration anyway.

Here’s my sage advice for these Bridezillas to guarantee years of marital bliss: Stop being a twat.

(Image: Zametalov/Shutterstock)

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